This week was Jon’s birthday. He would have been 70 years old on March 29. But his life stopped 21 years ago. You have read about him if you saw the story of goofSOUL. My whole life I dreamed of being daddy’s cherished little girl. Unfortunately, the reality couldn’t be further from my dream. Meanwhile, Jon couldn’t have children, although he would have loved it. And then, Life put us on each other’s paths, and for a very short time, he was the daddy of my dreams. It was pure and healthy love, which changed everything for me. Life had been rough, my light was going out, and he rekindled it with his spark. Almost every day I wonder what my life would have been if I hadn’t met him, or if I had met him and he hadn’t died so young. Meeting him and losing him both changed the trajectory of my life.
To live or not to live
What was required of me to survive this unfathomable grief and all its related feelings (sadness, anger, guilt, injustice, hopelessness …) is immense. That cross-road could have taken me to three different places: my own death, a miserable life of despair, or a resilient and purposeful life. I mostly contemplated the first two, but he had instilled something in me: love & hope. So I worked hard to overcome the despair and learn to live with bearable pain.
Today, I make sense of all I have been through by giving it purpose. Instead of seeing my wounds as senseless and unfair, I see them as proof of what I’m capable of overcoming. Instead of letting sorrows close down my heart and barricade myself, I am using them to strengthen my empathy and be of service to humanity. One of Jon’s missions in his life on Earth was to instill in me my purpose, rekindle my soul’s light. It took me a long time to see it, it was the hidden treasure inside my grief. And so my purpose is to pay it forward and rekindle others’ light.
Death is no end
Research on the afterlife and reading Laura Lynne Jackson’s books have lifted more pain off because I am now certain that he is still around (he sends me signs and visits my dreams) and that I will see him again on the Other Side. Go have a look if you are grieving too, and even if you aren’t… For me, this knowledge has changed my life so drastically. Death is no longer a permanent empty space or an end. Death is where our consciousness goes home. Life on Earth is a temporary mission for our soul, our consciousness, to elevate itself. And as research points out, it would seem our consciousness comes back to live life on Earth several times. Just like seasons, we live and die in cycles, or possibly in spirals.
So when you step back from the mundane of daily life and ask yourself “what if I was indeed in this life to accomplish something to elevate my soul, what could that be? and am I doing it?”. And what if that was simply to love Life and rekindle each other’s light? Here’s another question for you “who has rekindled your light?”. If they are still alive, please take this chance to let them know: preferably tell them in person, but if you are uncomfortable write them an old-fashion letter. Tell people what a positive difference they make in your life, no matter how small. Plant love and gratitude all around you, who knows what could sprout in your life, or better yet, in your soul…
I know that Jon loves to see that I am growing the spark he gave me. And I am eternally grateful that his love and invisible arm are still and always will be wrapped around my soul.
Who are you grateful for? And how are you honoring their spark?